Birthday: the congressman who rode a railroad out of town on its own line

James Proctor Knott (1830-1911)
Politician

He was born 187 years ago today. Unlike everyone else born that day- and most people born any day- Proctor Knott has a deathless niche in history.

On January 29, 1871, then-Congressman J. Proctor Knott, as he styled himself, rose on the floor of the House of Representatives to give the funniest speech ever delivered in Congress.

But we must do the man justice. The stage must be set.

Knott was born in Kentucky. He was a bright, promising boy. He read law and hung out his shingle in Scotland County, Missouri, at the Iowa border. The county was growing fast: the population expanded 134% in the 1850s.

At 27, Knott was elected to the Missouri House; at 28, he was appointed the state's attorney general and won a term of his own.

At 31, Knott's career lay in ruins. Like many border staters, he was an equivocator on slavery. He opposed secessionist tactics but also refused to take a federal loyalty oath.

After being deposed from office and briefly imprisoned, Knott returned to Kentucky in 1863 and mounted a remarkable personal comeback. Kentucky having never formally seceded, he won a seat in Congress in 1866, serving two terms before running unsuccessfully for governor in 1870.

So Knott was serving out his time-his term in Congress ended March 4, 1871- when he rose on January 29, 1871 to seek the recognition of House Speaker James G. Blaine.

Much as today, Republicans controlled the House and the Speaker controlled who spoke. Knott made several attempts to be heard on a bill to grant land to a railroad company seeking to lay track north of Chicago to the Great Lakes with the aid of government land grants.

When he finally was recognized, Knott complained that the debate limit- ten minutes per member- was unfair, given how rarely he was let to speak on the floor:

Though recognized as a raconteur, J. Proctor Knott was not known as one of the spellbinding orators of the House. Whether he had his remarks prepared that day, or had some rmarks he was prepared not to use and set them aside to seem extemporaneous, or whether he truly was being extemporaneous, by the time J. Proctor Knott resumed his seat, the St Croix and Bayfield Railroad bill was dead and House- realizing there was nothing better they could achieve, adjourned for the day.

Knott's mock-serious skewering of the pretensions of a Minnesota village called Duluth- which wasn't even on the St.C & B.R.R. route-  swept America, reprinted as pamphlets and newspaper inserts.

Knott's speech can be read in full here.

The good citizens of Duluth- knowing a PR bonanza when it was handed them- bore only a passing grudge. They invited Knott to come visit (he did, in 1887), and eventually acclaimed him the city's patron saint. In 1894, a new town near Duluth was chartered and was given the name Proctorknott, shortened to Proctor a decade later.

Knott left the House in March 1871, only to return in triumph four years later as a part of a Democratic wave election. He chaired the House Judiciary Committee for three of his four terms- serving as a manager of the impeachment of the Secretary of War, William Belknap- then claimed his long-sought prize: he was elected 29th Governor of Kentucky in 1882.

After a generally successful term, Knott served as a special assistant to the state attorney general, and delegate to the Kentucky constitutional convention. He declined offers by President Cleveland to be an Interstate Commerce Commisioner and Territorial Governor of Hawaii. The Chicago Tribune's obituary reported Knott's Duluth speech finished him as a lawyer- after it, people only wanted to hear him be funny- but he ended his career as founding dean of the Centre College School of Law. Ill-health forced his retirement in 1902, and he died in Lebanon, Kentucky June 18, 1911.

For its part, Duluth grew to become a major inland seaport, home to culinary creations including pie a la mode; Chun King Chinese food; and Jeno's Pizza. Notable citizens include vacuum cleaner magnate David Oreck; actor Telly Savalas; Arthur Woolson, the last Union soldier to die (1850-1956); and two Nobel laureates in literature- Sinclair Lewis and Bob Dylan.